Hello hello guys! So today I wanted to write a positive blog post all about my top tips to make 2018 your best year yet. Obviously there are many external factors in life, things we just can’t do anything about and sadly, things we can’t change. However, in life, there are also some things you can change and some things we can do things about so I thought I’d write a blog post with some ways I personally think you can make 2018 your best year yet whether it’s in the workplace, in the gym or just in life itself. Let’s do this.
Cut the rope - First and foremost, when it comes to unsupportive/negative people, as hard as it is, cut the rope. If you read my blog post all about how to deal with friend heartbreak, I talked about a few different scenarios and they all pointed to one thing: these people are not friends. For so long, I’ve felt anxious, upset, unhappy and have put energy into people who really don’t care about me. For years people have told me ‘these people are not your friends’ and it’s only recently I’ve realised that. If someone can’t support you in your job, in your life, or, when things are tough, can’t even wish you a happy birthday or can’t pick up the phone, then you really do have to ask yourself if these people are friends. I totally get that people are going through their own stuff and actually, I have many friends who I go months without speaking to and I know they’re always there. Cutting the rope isn’t about those people, it’s about cutting the rope with people who make you feel anxious/unhappy or, like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t. Obviously, someone may not have wished you happy birthday because maybe they were busy but it’s about cutting those toxic people out who don’t make you happy. In 2018 I’ll be using my energy on kind, supportive and positive people, rather than wasting my time feeling guilty or on edge because someone has made me feel that way. You have to put your mental health first and if someone is ruining your day, making you feel as if you’re almost being bullied - please, cut that rope you’re holding onto.
Don’t judge - As much as I believe in cutting out toxic people, I am a strong believer in not judging people. Obviously, before you cut those people out, make sure you have at least tried to make amends/checked that person is okay, like I said, people can just be going through their own stuff, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but in some situations, it is very clear cut and obvious that certain ‘friends’ absolutely refuse to support/care. So, back to the not judging people bit. Go into 2018 with a clear conscience and try not to judge anyone. We are all guilty of it, I used to be judgemental and sometimes still can, I think it’s part of human nature but I’ve seen so much in the last year and it’s really taught me that you just do not know what battles someone is facing or what battles they have already fought. You can never judge someone by their social media either, the amount of friends who have told me they don’t need to check in on me because they saw my Instagram. It’s so important to recognise that Instagram is a reel of happy and seemingly perfect memories, people generally only post the ‘highlights’ reel of their life to there so it can often be wrong to judge someone as being happy/having a good life just by what you see on Instagram. Another example is something I quickly learnt after my brother fell ill. I would have probably judged a young man for not standing up from a seat on the tube for an elderly person, but, in my brothers case, someone who has a chronic illness and can barely walk or stand up on many occasions, he also needs to take that seat on the bus or that seat on the tube however, if he did that, he would be ridiculed, stared at and probably grunted at. Just because an illness is invisible it doesn’t mean it isn’t there, similar to depression. So many people are suffering so please, just spread a little bit of kindness.
Kindness is free -That takes me onto number 3. Kindness really is free. Why would you not sprinkle it everywhere? There are so many people who spend their lives trolling strangers, looking people up and down and generally just making peoples days hell, it’s actually so much easier to just be nice. If you’re nice to someone, it makes you feel better too. It releases these nice happy endorphins and feels great giving someone a compliment so try it.
Turn negatives into positives - Of course, there are many negatives that cannot be turned into positives but in many cases, you can turn a negative into a positive. For example, if I’m having a bad day I’ll ask myself if what I’m moaning about will matter in a weeks time, a months time or a years time? Probably not. If I’m having a really bad day, I’ll remind myself how fortunate I am to have woken up in a healthy body/mind as again, so many people would do anything for that. If something goes wrong, I think about people in my life who have lost their lives and tell myself that they’d do anything to be in alive and kicking, in my position right now, so what if a few little things have gone wrong. I remember when I worked in a clothing store and I used to serve people, if there was a long queue we’d be told to say ‘thank you for waiting’ rather than ‘so sorry for the queue’ and we always go more of a positive response by thanking them for their time. It’s a really good way to think about life, you think your body doesn’t look good? Write a list about the parts of your body you do love! Write down what does look good. Focus on the positives. Remember though: you're not a bad person if you have a bad day, it's normal, we are only human. Be gentle with yourself.
Make a plan/set some goals -I’m a big believer in writing lists and setting goals. Set some goals for 2018. Go for it. Go wild. Dream big. This is your year, your fresh start, your chance to make a difference whether it’s to your own life or someone elses. I totally agree though, to many, it really is just another day but, if it gives you an excuse to set some new goals and better yourself/others, use it as your excuse.
Focus on you - When it comes to some scenarios, try not to compare yourself to others. Comparison really is the thief of joy, keep your head down and work on your goals rather than spending your energy comparing yourself to others.
Leave any drama in 2017 -You’ll feel better for it, what’s done is done, either cut the rope and move on or just forget about it. Life really is too short.
Believe in yourself - Lastly, believe in yourself. There are so many things you can achieve, sometimes you just need a little belief. Love yourself too because how can you love someone else without loving yourself first?
Write down what went wrong in 2017 and what went right - This can be a good way to really look at what you want to change this year and see if there's even anything you need to change.
Listen - In 2018, listen more. Listen to your body, listen to your mind, listen to your Grandparents and take constructive feedback on board. Listen to people who may need you too, by just listening you could save someones life. Spend time with people who make you feel great, give you good vibes, inspire you, motivate you and make you happy. If you read my giving back at Christmas blog post, try and take that into 2018 too.
Thanks for reading guys, let me know if you have anything to add onto this list!
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Lots of love, Em x
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